Where Did My Thanksgiving Parade Go?

screencap of Jack Lord hosting the Aloha Floral Parade in 1979 on CBS
Jack Lord hosting the Aloha Floral Parade in 1979 on CBS

So I got up earlier than usual on Thanksgiving morning specifically to watch the famous Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I turn on the TV to watch but where is the parade? It is suppose to be on two networks and I see bits of the parade in the background but the hosts act like they are somewhere other than a parade. When did the Macy’s parade become just an advertising vehicle for NBC and CBS? Where did my Thanksgiving Parade go?

Watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade was a ritual growing up. It would be on at Grandma’s house as we kids tried to pass the time before we could eat. We would sneak cheese from the cheese plate as we watched the floats and balloons go by. 

Continue reading “Where Did My Thanksgiving Parade Go?”

The Real Story of Thanksgiving and Socialism

A friend of mine posted a story of the “A Lost Thanksgiving Lesson” told by FOX “news” talking head John Stossel. He claims that because the colony tried to operate as a commune there was a famine and so to save the colony the Pilgrims ditched socialism. Like most Libertarian fantasies, Stossel’s story is 99.9999999% made up.

Every year around this time, schoolchildren are taught about that wonderful day when Pilgrims and Native Americans shared the fruits of the harvest. But the first Thanksgiving in 1623 almost didn’t happen.

Long before the failure of modern socialism, the earliest European settlers gave us a dramatic demonstration of the fatal flaws of collectivism. Unfortunately, few Americans today know it.

The Pilgrims at Plymouth Colony organized their farm economy along communal lines. The goal was to share the work and produce equally.

That’s why they nearly all starved.

When people can get the same return with less effort, most people make less effort. Plymouth settlers faked illness rather than working the common property. Some even stole, despite their Puritan convictions. Total production was too meager to support the population, and famine resulted. This went on for two years.

A Lost Thanksgiving Lesson

The real history tells a different tale:

Historians say that the settlers in Plymouth, and their supporters in England, did indeed agree to hold their property in common — William Bradford, the governor, referred to it in his writings as the “common course.” But the plan was in the interest of realizing a profit sooner, and was only intended for the short term; historians say the Pilgrims were more like shareholders in an early corporation than subjects of socialism.

“It was directed ultimately to private profit,” said Richard Pickering, a historian of early America and the deputy director of Plimoth Plantation, a museum devoted to keeping the Pilgrims’ story alive.

The arrangement did not produce famine. If it had, Bradford would not have declared the three days of sport and feasting in 1621 that became known as the first Thanksgiving. “The celebration would never have happened if the harvest was going to be less than enough to get them by,” Mr. Pickering said. “They would have saved it and rationed it to get by.”

The Pilgrims Were … Socialists?

The first Thanksgiving or harvest feast was held in 1621 not 1623. The Native Americans were invited because they helped support the colony with food and teaching them how to grow their crops in New England during their first year when half the colonists died.

So socialism did save the colony and the Libertarians/Tea Party/Conservatives are full of stuffing – and not the good kind.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Another holiday is about to come to an end and I can feel the turkey starting to hit me. I remember back when I was a kid it was all parades on TV until noon, today I couldn’t find a parade at all. Oh, there was parades, they just didn’t show them on TV. All of them have those crap dancing and singing bits on the street.

Just show me the floats and balloons, please. I don’t care that Grease is on Broadway and I didn’t care for the G rated version of “Greased Lighting”.

All I want is all the floats and balloons and Jack Lord at the end telling me “Aloha” from Hawaii leading into the football game at noon.

The football games today – Detroit and the Titans and Dallas and Seattle – were awful. Just awful. I stopped watching after the first half.

My dinner turned out great. I cooked a turkey breast roast, mashed potatoes, cole slaw, and dinner rolls. It hasn’t killed me yet so I must have done it right.

Here is a slide show of my thanksgiving meal:

Holiday Homily from Le Buche de Humanist

A Holiday Homily from Le Buche de Humanist

Book 2 Chapter 7

Lo, go unto Grandma’s house and be merry. Or if thou hate your family, hold thy tongue past dinner.

Eat game bird or tofu which that you are. Sleep during daylight with hand in pants. Watch the Lions get pasted on the grid iron.

If thy pass gas blame the person next to you – loudly.

Book 2 Chapter 8

Give uneaten casserole to dog you don’t like. Send as much leftovers as possible with relative who is not married. The youngest of you shall take the rubbish to the holy can. The oldest of you shall speak ill, even untruths, of those not there, the neighbors, various ethnic and religious groups, and particular political parties. The rest shall pretend not to hear and hope the person speaking falls asleep.

Thirty minutes, and no more or no less, after final spoonful is served, leave the house you have gathered. Tell an untruth if need be. Let thy tongue roll, that had been held, in the comfort of your own keep. Make a promise never to go again that you know you will never keep.